


There

by Kalira



Category: Naruto
Genre: Baby Kakashi is Fucked Up, Canonical Character Death, Comfort, Damaged Kids, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Friendship, Grief/Mourning, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Kakashi Has Issues, M/M, Ninja Are All A Little Fucked Up, canonical suicide, ninja kids
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-28
Updated: 2018-04-28
Packaged: 2019-04-25 16:51:00
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,705
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14382903
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kalira/pseuds/Kalira
Summary: Kakashi really just wants to be left alone in the wake of his father's death. Gai isn't going to let him. (Gai is really a great friend. One day Kakashi will grow up to appreciate that.)





	There

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Lopithecus](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lopithecus/gifts).



> Written for a request from [this angsty-ish dialogue prompt list](http://kalira9.tumblr.com/post/168224380286/send-me-a-pairing-and-a-line-of-dialogue-and-ill). Second of three submitted at once - first one was yesterday, tomorrow I shall post the final one!
> 
> Original request [here](http://kalira9.tumblr.com/post/173388000969/ooh-theres-some-really-good-ones-for-the).

Kakashi looked numbly at the stone marker. He felt cold inside, _ached_ with it, but beyond that. . .

His mind filled with the memory of his father curled into a slump on the floor - his father’s _body_ , in a pool of his own blood that had almost reached Kakashi’s toes before he even realised what he was seeing. He remembered the way things had changed since his father returned from his last mission - the way his father had withdrawn from him, from everything; the way the village had _spoken_ of him; the way-

Kakashi shook his head, turning away from the grave and leaving it behind without another look.

“Rival!” Kakashi was half a street away from the cemetery when he heard Gai’s voice, both quieter and gentler than usual even as he ran to catch up to Kakashi. He paused for a moment, then tilted his head down and ignored Gai, continuing to walk. “Rival, wait!”

Kakashi didn’t react until Gai caught up with him, coming close by his side. He hadn’t expected the sudden presence and he jerked away sharply, only to silently berate himself for the reaction immediately after.

“I am sorry about your father.” Gai said as Kakashi’s steps slowed. He reached towards Kakashi. “He was a-”

“Don’t _fucking touch me_.” Kakashi snarled fiercely, stiffening. Gai froze, looking stricken for an instant before he withdrew his hand from where he’d only barely made contact with Kakashi’s shoulder. _Oh, feel better now, Kakashi? Well done. He was only being himself. He was even trying to **comfort** you._

“Leave me the hell alone.” Kakashi ordered, ignoring the quiet voice threading through his thoughts and turning away from Gai. He didn’t _need_ comforting, not for this.

Of course, no amount of scathing dismissals had ever succeeded in ridding him of Gai before, and even now he doubted-

“Kakashi!”

Kakashi twitched, startled. Gai didn’t call him by name often - in fact he struggled to remember the last time. Gai planted himself in front of Kakashi, looking very determined, if not also a bit uncomfortable.

“It’s okay that you are sad.” Gai said, his eyes intense as he met Kakashi’s gaze. “It is also okay to let people be there for you while you are hurting, my friend.” He stepped forwards. “Your father-”

“My father was a failure.” Kakashi snapped, eyes narrowing. “He betrayed his mission and so forsook his duty as a ninja of Konoha.”

Gai looked shocked. Kakashi drew himself up, muscles knotting even tauter. “I don’t care! He was a failure as a ninja and he should never have returned from his last mission!” he almost shouted, then turned sharply on his heel.

“ _Kakashi_. . .” Gai said behind him, and Kakashi broke into a run. He felt the tiny blaze that was Gai coming after him, and poured chakra into his muscles, moving faster and then shifting into a body flicker to put more distance between them. He usually refused to use such methods to get away from Gai - it was just _Gai_ , if he had to resort to that he wasn’t working hard enough - but right now Kakashi just-

Needed to be away.

He swallowed against the painful tightness in his throat, his father’s face rising in his mind again, and drove himself faster, wishing he could leave his memories behind along with everyone else.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Kakashi stretched up as far as he could to slide the bowl he had just washed into the drying rack on the counter, then put out the light and left the kitchen.

Refusing to let himself hesitate, Kakashi walked through into the living room but found his feet refusing to move any further. His father’s body was long gone but he could still see. . .

He bit his lip hard. Kakashi had seen _many_ people dead or dying, lying in their own blood, there was nothing special about _this_ one. He clenched his jaw and forced himself forwards, but he couldn’t quite put his foot down.

He shuddered with the remembered feel of blood on his toes.

Kakashi backed away hurriedly, stumbling as he made it through the doorway and curling up on the floor, legs tucked up close to his chest. He covered his face with his hands as tears pricked at the corners of his eyes, barely swallowing back keening whimpers.

His chakra crackled under his skin with his emotional turmoil, and he forced it into quiescence again, swallowing hard.

He frowned, raising his head. He hauled himself to his feet and darted through the dark house, suddenly needing to be out where he could _breathe_. He spilled through the door and out into the night, turning and almost falling into a run along the wall rather than head out into the open street.

He skidded to a stop as he nearly tripped over-

Kakashi’s eyes widened.

Gai scrambled to his feet from where he had been sitting with his back against the outer wall of Kakashi’s house. “Kakashi, I-” he began.

Kakashi opened his mouth, then closed it with a tiny keen. Gai’s eyes widened and he frowned sadly as he fell silent, reaching out to Kakashi. He reached to shove at Gai’s hands, because he didn’t need this, he _didn’t_ , Gai should leave him _alone_ , but-

Gai’s skinny arms tucked around him and Kakashi shivered as he came into close contact with someone else, someone _warm_ , for the first time in weeks. Kakashi tensed, but couldn’t quite bring himself to pull away, either. He realised he had felt the familiar heat of Gai’s chakra signature from inside but had been so distracted. . . And _why_ would Gai have been here, _quiet_ , for so long?

“Why are you here?” Kakashi asked, his face smashed against Gai’s shoulder.

Gai’s hug tightened a little more. “I know you didn’t want to see me,” he said, “but I couldn’t just leave you alone. So I- I’ve been waiting. Just in case- I’m sorry, Kakashi.”

Kakashi snorted, then sniffed as he lost the fight with some of the tears he’d been holding back for days. Crying must have taken more out of him than he expected, because Kakashi found himself somewhat dazed and, for the first time in a long time, not really aware of his surroundings. Not beyond Gai’s skinny body pressed against his own, and the bony shoulder under his face.

He was alone when he woke up, but he was in his own bed, and while he had a headache from crying, he didn’t feel as badly as he might have thought he would. He found a glass of water and an apple by his futon and consumed both before getting up.

He wondered quietly where Gai was, because he vaguely remembered being brought into his own house and up the stairs, deftly avoiding the living room, but there was no sign of Gai’s _current_ presence even as he made his way down. Kakashi swallowed. He was glad. He couldn’t _believe_ he had-

Kakashi cringed, glanced at the living room door, and slipped outside silently.

“Rival!” Gai appeared out of seemingly nowhere when Kakashi was halfway to his favourite training grounds - it would be a few days yet before sensei returned from his mission. “I challenge you to hot blooded combat!”

Kakashi eyed Gai and shook his head, slipping around the other boy and not exactly surprised when Gai traipsed after him. “Rival!” Gai almost whined.

Kakashi eventually gave in; it took less time to beat Gai than it would to get _rid_ of him, although he declared his intention to train harder and demand a rematch. Kakashi waved him off and settled at the targets for practise.

He was . . . a little surprised, though, that Gai didn’t mention . . . his father. Or how he had showed up at Kakashi’s house last night, and how Kakashi had- had _broken down_.

Kakashi growled, narrowing his eyes, and focused more intently on the target. He was _fine_. He was a ninja and he had his training to focus on and he didn’t need anyone to come and _check on him_ like he was a helpless civilian child.

 

**Omake:**

Gai never had mentioned it, though he’d shown up a few more nights outside Kakashi’s house, and once or twice had again hugged him as he broke down into quiet hysterics. He never said anything about those times except while he was there, and then only to staunchly say that he couldn’t leave Kakashi alone.

He was always gone before Kakashi was together enough to either get angry for his presence or simply throw him out, and he acted as though nothing had happened when next he ambushed Kakashi for a challenge.

Warm hands slid over Kakashi’s shoulders, and then dipped lower as he was wrapped in a hug from behind. “What are you thinking of, my love?”

Kakashi’s lips curled and he leaned back into Gai’s arms. He settled on the porch, legs dangling off on either side of Kakashi’s own, and tightened his embrace.

“Just wondering how the hell you ever put up with me as a kid.” Kakashi said honestly, and cocked his head enough to look at Gai.

Gai blinked, then smiled at him, kissing his cheek just above the mask. “You are my Beloved Eternal Rival, my Dearest Friend, and . . . you needed me.” he finished more softly. “You needed _someone_ ,” he corrected, “even if you often didn’t think so. Or want to admit it. I selfishly wanted that to be me.”

Kakashi shook his head, snorting. “If there is anything you really weren’t back then, it was selfish.” he said dryly. Yes, Gai had been a _fucking nuisance_ , dogging Kakashi’s steps all the time and challenging him and . . . trying to befriend him, but he had been a constant in Kakashi’s life when everything else wavered, and-

And when Kakashi would have admitted his weaknesses to no one, Gai never required him to before showing up - implacable as ever - to comfort them.

Kakashi slid his hands over Gai’s own on his stomach and squeezed them. “Thank you.” he said quietly, leaning a little harder against Gai’s chest.

“You are and always will be most welcome, Kakashi.” Gai said just as softly, hugging him tight and resting his cheek against Kakashi’s own.

**Author's Note:**

> Look me up on [Tumblr](http://kalira9.tumblr.com/) to ask for a request, see me flail over fandoms, or just to say hello!


End file.
